A major life change always brings something new, but it also means the ending of what was.
Even when you want them, endings can come with a high price.
How well you cope with a life-changing event determines the direction and quality of your future.
Your identity must become that of a traveler embarking on a journey to unknown and exciting places. Just like a river that must be crossed if you are to reach the opposite shore, you must find your own best way to get across the rough water.
There are ways to make this crossing easier.
7 Ways to move on
Recognize and acknowledge what you are giving up and leaving behind– it helps heal your wounds and opens the door to new possibilities.
Give yourself enough time to adjust
To ease your discomfort you may be tempted to rush into something new before you have had time to finish processing the ending of the old. In order to gain insight into what you now want, you need time to sort out and get a perspective on what happened and what was lost.
Change your focus
We get more of what we concentrate on, so Instead of giving in to the fear that inevitably surfaces, shift your attention to the remaining positive aspects of your life. Take an inventory of what you still have and what you can still do.
Knowing that all is not lost and that you still have options rekindles hope.
Take small steps
Although adjustments to the way you live may now be necessary, this is not the time to make other major life altering decisions.
In the middle of a traumatic event we lose our ability to reason and think clearly. Therefore, it is important not to make important decisions while your brain is still in a fog.
Stop seeing yourself as a victim
Take responsibility for your actions and stop blaming others for unwanted changes that may have come without warning. Hard as it may be, if you can accept your new situation and see how you have contributed to it or the role you played in it, your progress will be much faster.
Surround yourself with positive people
Avoid the energy-drainers, the advice givers and those who insist on being a devil’s advocate.
You do not need to hear how much worse someone else’s catastrophe is when you are trying to cope with your own. Neither do you need to expend your energies defending your actions or trying to solve someone else’s problems.
At this point you need all your energy and inner strength for yourself.
Take care of yourself
Either emotional or physical, stress affects our well being.
Through our nervous system brain cells communicate with the body by means of chemical messengers (neurotransmitters). When too much stress disrupts that communication, you are likely to experience sleep disturbances, aches and pains, depression and anxiety. If not addressed and resolved, stress can ultimately result in more serious physical conditions and even disease.
Remain open to new opportunities
Regardless of what has happened or how it is affecting you, it is important to recognize that opportunity often accompanies disaster.
Changing your outlook may be one of the biggest challenges you will face, but it will also make the biggest difference. Instead of dwelling on the doors that are closed, concentrate on those that are still open.
Rely on yourself
Don’t let anyone or anything stand in the way of your healing, and above all, don’t fall prey to blame and self-pity.
You are the only one who can rescue yourself from the depths of despair.
Life will be a lot easier if you don’t go there in the first place.